{"id":551,"date":"2019-08-19T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-08-19T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/webinology.website\/nation2021\/the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak\/"},"modified":"2021-11-03T12:47:55","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T16:47:55","slug":"the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak","title":{"rendered":"The Car Ride Home Part 5: The Peak"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><em>The car ride home is an experience that helps define a parent \/ child relationship. Here are six topics that have helped me improve myself, understand my son better and allowed him to challenge himself to be the best athlete he can be. This is your fifth ride sitting in the backseat of my car listening in on our relationship. And if you\u2019re wondering\u2026 yes, he did agree to everything written.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h5><strong>Part 5) How to ask those difficult questions.<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p>For the first time in my life I recently had the thought my son might have just hit his peak. I dreaded this thought. My world of believing he is going to become a great baseball player was in turmoil.<\/p>\n<p>It came about when I heard about other similar aged baseball players in the U.S.A. and Latin America clocking times in their sixty-yard dash that blew away my son\u2019s. He is one of the fastest players in this country, but over in the center of the baseball universe, he wasn\u2019t turning any heads.<\/p>\n<p>I considered asking him if he thought he hit his peak, but I couldn\u2019t ask him that. Does that send a message I don\u2019t believe in him? Surely I can\u2019t ask him that. I knew he was still recovering from a hamstring injury when he was recently time trialed and I knew he was very disappointed with his time. Yet, I felt like I was betraying him by doubting him.<\/p>\n<p>Though I was feeling confused I didn\u2019t need to blurt out whatever I was feeling. I\u2019ve done that too many times before. I thought about it and decided to rephrase and reframe any questions I wanted to ask.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat do you think of that time that Dominican kid hit in his sixty?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cVery impressive, no wonder the Dominican was offered 5.1mil\u2019,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut 6.3, how is that possible?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know. It\u2019s unbelievable, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know your target was 6.4, but could you ever hit 6.3?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDad, get me a sprint coach and I\u2019ll get close to equaling that time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cReally, do you believe that you can compete with that time?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, I do. Speed is my number one tool and I see where I need to be.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo, you have no doubts about yourself that you haven\u2019t hit your peak?\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>\u201cNo way! I want to train harder now and get my body in better condition.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>At the end of the conversation I was slightly embarrassed to suggest if he doubted himself. Fortunately, because the conversation was framed around the Dominican\u2019s time, my son took it as an inspiration and something positive to strive for.<\/p>\n<p>Often times, when we ask or tell our kids things it\u2019s out of <em>our<\/em> frustration.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>We care. We care deeply. We care <em>too<\/em> much. We care to the point that clouds our view of what\u2019s really going on.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>And as much as it is good to ask questions (and not blurt our presumptive statements), if we ask when we aren\u2019t calm and have applied little thought to our words, it is obvious the issue is really all about us and not about our child.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s OK, we\u2019ve all done this. It doesn\u2019t take much to turn this around. Suffer for a bit longer and ask yourself what you want your child to take out of this conversation. If it is about you getting something off your chest you\u2019ll only pass your suffering onto them. If you want to pass on calmness and encouragement to your child, make sure you\u2019re first calm and your questions are framed in an encouraging way.<\/p>\n<p>Mark Maguire<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>(You can contact me at <\/em><\/strong><a href=\"mailto:maguireonfire@bigpond.com\" data-mce-href=\"mailto:maguireonfire@bigpond.com\"><strong><em>maguireonfire@bigpond.com<\/em><\/strong><\/a><strong><em> if you would like to discuss your experience or dilemma. I\u2019m always open to learning something new and I\u2019m always open to giving time and thought to help)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><em><em>CoachUp is the safest and easiest way to find a coach for personalized training. With our 100% money-back guarantee and vetted coaches, anyone can achieve their full&nbsp;<span class=\"vm-hook-outer vm-hook-default\"><span class=\"vm-hook\">athletic<\/span><\/span>&nbsp;potential.&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.coachup.com\/?utm_source=Nation&amp;utm_medium=Article&amp;utm_campaign=ArticleFooter\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"follow noopener\" data-mce-href=\"http:\/\/www.coachup.com\/?utm_source=Nation&amp;utm_medium=Article&amp;utm_campaign=ArticleFooter\">Find your perfect coach<\/a>&nbsp;today and become the&nbsp;<span class=\"vm-hook-outer vm-hook-default\"><span class=\"vm-hook\">athlete<\/span><\/span>&nbsp;you want to be!<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The car ride home is an experience that helps define a parent \/ child relationship. Here are six topics that have helped me improve myself, understand my son better and allowed him to challenge himself to be the best athlete he can be. This is your fifth ride sitting in the backseat of my car [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":68,"featured_media":552,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[504,501,503,506,505,507,400,502],"class_list":["post-551","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parents","tag-believe","tag-child","tag-confidence","tag-dissapointment","tag-doubt","tag-framing","tag-parenting","tag-sport"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Car Ride Home Part 5: The Peak - CoachUp Nation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Car Ride Home Part 5: The Peak - CoachUp Nation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The car ride home is an experience that helps define a parent \/ child relationship. Here are six topics that have helped me improve myself, understand my son better and allowed him to challenge himself to be the best athlete he can be. This is your fifth ride sitting in the backseat of my car [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"CoachUp Nation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/coachup\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-08-19T00:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-11-03T16:47:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/cropped-637001930203661731viewfrombehindofonesoccerplayeronbenchpictureid608160899.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"679\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"382\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Mark Maguire\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@coachup\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@coachup\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Mark Maguire\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Mark Maguire\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/cfef6593c1f66890e729a5c5e1cab296\"},\"headline\":\"The Car Ride Home Part 5: The Peak\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-08-19T00:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-11-03T16:47:55+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak\"},\"wordCount\":713,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/08\\\/cropped-637001930203661731viewfrombehindofonesoccerplayeronbenchpictureid608160899.png\",\"keywords\":[\"Believe\",\"Child\",\"Confidence\",\"Dissapointment\",\"Doubt\",\"Framing\",\"Parenting\",\"Sport\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Parents\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/the-car-ride-home-part-5-the-peak\",\"name\":\"The Car Ride Home Part 5: The Peak - 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