{"id":3141,"date":"2018-06-01T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-06-01T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/webinology.website\/nation2021\/dad-it-doesnt-matter-part-2-who-you-gonna-call\/"},"modified":"2021-11-03T12:51:15","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T16:51:15","slug":"dad-it-doesnt-matter-part-2-who-you-gonna-call","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/dad-it-doesnt-matter-part-2-who-you-gonna-call","title":{"rendered":"Dad! It Doesn\u2019t Matter! (Part 2): Who You Gonna Call?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Read Part 1 of the Dad! It Doesn\u2019t Matter! series.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

(Warning: there are always issues and solutions I write about that people will disagree with. This blog may be one of them.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Before you send that email to your child’s coach, giving them a piece of your mind: STOP! <\/strong><\/p>\n

As I type, I can\u2019t help but to think about the lyrics to the theme song from the original Ghostbusters movie. Now that \u2018Who you gonna call?\u2019 is planted in your head for the rest of the day, I can reassure you not even the Ghostbusters could save you from the mess you\u2019re about to wind up in if you send that message.<\/p>\n

What do you do if you\u2019ve blown it and made that call or sent that email? Because I know a lot of people have, whether it be about 3-2-1 or any other matter relating to their child playing in a team. You may be someone who \u2018couldn\u2019t give a you-know-what.\u2019 You\u2019ve made your point clear. There is now an uncomfortable rift between you and the coach. But who cares, you\u2019ve made your point.<\/p>\n

Most parents do care and wish deep down they had of thought through their situation a bit more before accusations and presumptions were made.<\/p>\n

In our quest to be heard and our fight for fairness, we should\u2019ve asked a few more questions, seeking understanding before being understood. <\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

If you want to clear the air, so to say, and fill the uncomfortable void you\u2019ve now created, then simply apologize<\/strong>. No need for any reasons of why you said or wrote what you did. No need to reiterate your concerns or talk about it with anyone else. A short apology will bring coach and parent together again like nothing has ever come between you. The apology, however, may need to be laid on bit thicker and spread further around to others depending on how far your loose lips or tap dancing fingers spread.<\/p>\n

This action takes a large amount of humility and courage. Many can fire up and shoot but not many can clean up the aftermath. The truth is, most disagreements can be overcome with the strength of humility. <\/strong><\/p>\n

And don\u2019t worry if you think your issue will now be forgotten. It won\u2019t be. It will now, however, be seen in a more favorable light.<\/p>\n

But what if you\u2019re known to have stirred the pot a few too many times and have a self-seeking reputation? More than likely you feel perfectly justified in what you\u2019ve said or written.<\/p>\n

But hopefully you\u2019re now realizing this sort of behavior is getting you nowhere and\u2014this is where it\u2019s going to hurt you\u2014it affects how your child is perceived as well.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve seen kids not picked in a team because the coach doesn\u2019t want the baggage the parents bring with the child.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s unfair, you may think. My child shouldn\u2019t be blamed for my behavior. Fair or unfair, the consequences of our actions create a burden and stress for a coach they\u2019re just not willing to carry for another season. The coach that does give a child a chance will either want to avoid that pugnacious parent for the season or in the end regret they even took the child on again.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a solution for the parent that is known to \u2018fire up\u2019. (It\u2019s not going to be enjoyable, and I hope you\u2019re sitting down while reading this.)<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t say anything for a whole season: no criticism, no complaints, no standing up for fair play\u2026 a year of keeping those loose lips shut and that index finger locked up.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It will take a year of smiling and being a support. It will kill you.<\/p>\n

We think our young athletes have to work hard to excel and enjoy their sport. Show them the example of what a person is like that really wants to have a positive impact.<\/p>\n

Mom, Dad, does it matter? This is my tip if you still think it does and you\u2019re about to enter into the uncomfortable world of speaking your mind. A mate once told me about a meeting he had with his boss around the board table with other managers of a large company. My mate spoke his mind and told the boss exactly what he thought of a person and a situation. He told the boss that he wore his heart on his sleeve and says it as it is. The boss took him aside after the meeting and said: it\u2019s called maturity, learning to be discreet and showing self-control with what you say. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Now for the tip before you potentially blow it: call a friend.<\/strong> Call anyone who is not volatile and explosive. Yet, even a volatile and reactionary person can be calm and give stable advice. Call them before it\u2019s too late. Call them and tell them exactly how you\u2019re feeling. You don\u2019t need to see a counselor or psychologist; just call someone you know. They\u2019ll give you balance. You want someone to hear you out. You want your feelings acknowledged. Run it by them. You won\u2019t regret it.<\/p>\n

Though it eventually doesn\u2019t matter, it does matter right now and you need a sounding board. Firstly, to express everything you\u2019re thinking, and secondly, to gain some balance to your one-sided view of the situation. <\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The father that rang me (from\u00a0Part 1<\/a> of this series) was highly emotional and his perspective of the 3-2-1 maybe wayward but he kicked a goal when he off-loaded onto me and used me as a sounding board. It wasn\u2019t his intention initially to gain any advice from talking to me, but wisdom prevailed on his part. He was calmer and happier for it.<\/p>\n

Parents (and coaches), we all need sounding boards in our lives; someone to ask us questions and not just give us answers; someone who brings clarity to our situation because emotions cloud our perception. <\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mom, Dad, if it does<\/em> matter, there may be a need to make that difficult call to the coach, but be balanced beforehand and self-controlled while speaking. However, before you make that call or send that email or text, ask yourself, does this really matter to my child? As much as we desire acknowledgment and fairness for our kids, if it doesn\u2019t matter to them, let it not matter to us.<\/p>\n

\n

CoachUp is the safest and easiest way to find a coach for personalized training. With our 100% money-back guarantee and vetted coaches, anyone can achieve their full athletic potential.\u00a0Find your perfect coach<\/a>\u00a0today and become the athlete you want to be!<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Read Part 1 of the Dad! It Doesn\u2019t Matter! series. (Warning: there are always issues and solutions I write about that people will disagree with. This blog may be one of them.) Before you send that email to your child’s coach, giving them a piece of your mind: STOP! As I type, I can\u2019t help […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":68,"featured_media":3142,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[2300,570,2301,571,923,369,924,569,146,18,189],"class_list":["post-3141","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parents","tag-coach-issues","tag-coaching-difficult-athletes","tag-dealing-with-a-tough-coach","tag-helping-kids-gain-confidence","tag-helping-kids-get-better","tag-how-to-coach-kids","tag-how-to-help-my-young-athlete","tag-sports-coaching","tag-sports-parenting","tag-youth-sports","tag-youth-sports-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nDad! It Doesn\u2019t Matter! 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