{"id":3047,"date":"2018-01-15T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-01-15T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/webinology.website\/nation2021\/dad-i-need-grit-part-1-who-do-our-kids-play-for\/"},"modified":"2021-11-03T13:04:18","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T17:04:18","slug":"dad-i-need-grit-part-1-who-do-our-kids-play-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/dad-i-need-grit-part-1-who-do-our-kids-play-for","title":{"rendered":"Dad, I Need Grit (part 1): Who do our kids play for?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Who do our kids play for?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have heard it said that grit is where passion meets perseverance. Who knows what our kids will become passionate about? At times we try to instill into them what sport we<\/em> love and somehow hope they may become a better version of us. And most of the time they do participate and possibly excel at that sport, albeit baseball or football or basketball or whatever. <\/p>\n

But how can a parent instill perseverance? Passion is hard enough, but perseverance? That\u2019s another mountain to climb. The incredibly difficult thing for us parents to get our heads around is the more we push to help grow this quality in our young athletes, the less chance they have of learning it. <\/p>\n

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The more we try to prepare them for failure by interfering in the failure process the more likely we will see their passion wane and perseverance disappear. (More about this in part 2)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

In the television series BREAKING BAD there is a pertinent scene towards the end of the last episode between Walter White and his estranged wife. Walter has come to say one final goodbye before he brings retribution upon those that have caused him to suffer most. He begins to say to his wife, \u201cI did this all\u2026\u201d and she cuts him off with a scolding rebuke saying she doesn\u2019t want to hear it again, (that) I did this all for you and the family. He waits for her to finish and starts again, \u201cI did this all for me<\/em>. I did it because I liked it. I did it because I was good at it.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Walter White had a reason why he did what he did. Though he wasn\u2019t honest with anyone around him, let alone himself during the whole six or seven seasons of the show, this moment of clarity to what drove him gave all the fans of the series (and his estranged wife) a sense of closure because finally Walter had spoken truth. <\/p>\n

What will keep our young athletes striving to be the best they can in the game of baseball or anything they apply themselves to? There\u2019ll be many factors that will help them persevere. But if they can come to the reality of why they\u2019re doing something and that why is based on something gratifying within themselves, then their focus will be unwavering. <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m doing this for me. I\u2019m doing it because I like it. I\u2019m doing it because I think I\u2019m good at it.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Very rarely will a pre-teen athlete know if a particular sport or activity is the one and only goal they have in life. Later, a parent can see the focus and vision of the child by how much time and initiation she or he is putting into the particular sport. The crucial factor for anyone applying themselves to any sporting game is are they enjoying what they\u2019re doing. Some, however, may say to me:<\/p>\n

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\u201cDon\u2019t give me this pettiness about enjoyment and having fun. My kid is here to win. I\u2019m here to win. My kid is a winner. I\u2019m a winner. I don\u2019t raise losers in my household. I\u2019ve never seen a kid enjoy losing\u2026 they\u2019ll thank me in the end.\u201d<\/em>  <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Fair point. Though I\u2019ve never seen a kid enjoy being overshadowed by their dominant parent who enforces their vision and expectations upon them.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve heard disgruntled parents saying, kids will give up the sport if they remain on this losing team surrounded by poor players. Similar to also hearing, if my child is not around the better players, he won\u2019t be pushed and will lose interest in the game.<\/p>\n

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Parents, I\u2019ve never seen this. I\u2019ve seen parents lose interest, and influence their kids with their attitude; I\u2019ve seen parents make their agenda and feelings perfectly known. <\/em> <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I\u2019ve only seen a youth player walk away from the sport because they were already not interested or not excited about the game. Yes, the coach may have had something to do with this, but my point is, if we can\u2019t put a lid on our agenda and our ego, we will definitely confuse our athletes with why they\u2019re playing and whom they\u2019re playing for.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Is our dream clouding their dream? Is our desire to win their desire to win? Are we hindering or enhancing their simple enjoyment of the game?<\/p>\n

Whether your child is showing promise in the game or is already an elite athlete, what keeps them in the game is if they enjoy it. It is disappointing to see a player of any ability out on the park looking like he or she is questioning themselves, why am I even out here.<\/p>\n

Grit is a tough term to define. It is even tougher for human beings to live it. In fact, most of our kids may not be able to define their motives behind what they\u2019re doing. <\/p>\n

But at some point what will keep our young athletes in the game and hopefully excelling at the game will be one if not all these things:<\/p>\n