{"id":3038,"date":"2019-08-12T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-08-12T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/webinology.website\/nation2021\/the-car-ride-home-part-3-stress\/"},"modified":"2021-11-03T13:04:15","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T17:04:15","slug":"the-car-ride-home-part-3-stress","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/the-car-ride-home-part-3-stress","title":{"rendered":"The Car Ride Home Part 3: Stress"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><em>The car ride home is an experience that helps define a parent \/ child relationship. Here are six topics that have helped me improve myself, understand my son better and allowed him to challenge himself to be the best athlete he can be. This is your third ride sitting in the backseat of my car listening in on our relationship. And if you\u2019re wondering\u2026 yes, he did agree to everything written.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h5><strong>Part 3) How to stop dumping <em>your<\/em> stress on your kids.<\/strong><strong><br \/><\/strong><\/h5>\n<p>Recently, I spoke to a group of baseball parents while their kids were beginning a Friday night winter program. I spoke about how our stress and anxiousness while watching them doesn\u2019t decrease as they get older. It only increases.<\/p>\n<p>The players\u2019 ages ranged from nine to twelve. Every player wanted to be there to improve his or her skills.<\/p>\n<p>Every parent desires to see their young athlete perform to the best of his or her ability, and hopefully, see their child go on to do something in their chosen sport.<\/p>\n<p>My son is sixteen and he is now one of the young coaches on this Friday night instilling what he has learnt from the game. I told the parents when my son was twelve I chatted with him about what he thinks of me yelling from the sideline giving him instructions and trying to inspire him.<\/p>\n<p>My son said bluntly, \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation2021\/articles\/dad-it-doesnt-help\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"follow noopener\" data-mce-href=\"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation2021\/articles\/dad-it-doesnt-help\">Dad, it doesn\u2019t help<\/a>.\u201d He went on to say that none of his teammates liked when their parents called out. He was brutal in his appraisal and it sort of stunned me.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>I thought I made a difference. I certainly did, but not the difference I imagined.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>In reality, it was the difference between my son enjoying the game and not; the difference between him learning from someone else without me interfering; the difference between him having his own pressures on the playing field and then also being <em>loaded down with my stress that I unknowingly dumped on him.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s exactly what I was doing, <strong>unknowingly dumping my stress on him<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>In my excitement I believed I was helping and inspiring when I was only increasing stress and anxiety.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Fortunately, my son is not an anxious kid. Thankfully, because of his mum, he is calm and collected. I wanted to be a part of that calmness and give him a further chance to do well. I decided that day when my son told me, \u201cDad, it doesn\u2019t help,\u201d to shut up and let him play without my interference from the side.<\/p>\n<p>I asked the parents that first night of winter development to have that brave conversation with their child; ask them if they like all the yelling and instruction from the sideline. I told them there is enough pressure on our kids without having to be burdened with our excitement issues and inability to shut up. *<\/p>\n<p>Nothing gives me more pleasure now than when my son says to me, \u201cDad, you really helped.\u201d Isn\u2019t that what we all really want to hear from our kids one day? They have the rest of their lives to gain their own stresses without sharing ours inadvertently from the sideline or the car ride home.<\/p>\n<p>* There is NO fine line between cheering and calling out instructions. Cheer your heart out; applaud your child\u2019s effort. Even clap the opposition team. All your child needs to hear from you after the game is, \u201cI enjoyed watching you play.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Mark Maguire<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>(You can contact me at <\/em><\/strong><a href=\"mailto:maguireonfire@bigpond.com\" data-mce-href=\"mailto:maguireonfire@bigpond.com\"><strong><em>maguireonfire@bigpond.com<\/em><\/strong><\/a><strong><em> if you would like to discuss your experience or dilemma. I\u2019m always open to learning something new and I\u2019m always open to giving time and thought to help)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><em><em>CoachUp is the safest and easiest way to find a coach for personalized training. With our 100% money-back guarantee and vetted coaches, anyone can achieve their full&nbsp;<span class=\"vm-hook-outer vm-hook-default\"><span class=\"vm-hook\">athletic<\/span><\/span>&nbsp;potential.&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.coachup.com\/?utm_source=Nation&amp;utm_medium=Article&amp;utm_campaign=ArticleFooter\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"follow noopener\" data-mce-href=\"http:\/\/www.coachup.com\/?utm_source=Nation&amp;utm_medium=Article&amp;utm_campaign=ArticleFooter\">Find your perfect coach<\/a>&nbsp;today and become the&nbsp;<span class=\"vm-hook-outer vm-hook-default\"><span class=\"vm-hook\">athlete<\/span><\/span>&nbsp;you want to be!<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The car ride home is an experience that helps define a parent \/ child relationship. Here are six topics that have helped me improve myself, understand my son better and allowed him to challenge himself to be the best athlete he can be. This is your third ride sitting in the backseat of my car [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":68,"featured_media":3039,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[1379,2252,2250,2253,400,2254,2249,2251],"class_list":["post-3038","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parents","tag-anxiety","tag-cheer","tag-embarrasment","tag-instruction","tag-parenting","tag-pressure","tag-stress","tag-support"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Car Ride Home Part 3: Stress - CoachUp Nation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/the-car-ride-home-part-3-stress\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Car Ride Home Part 3: Stress - CoachUp Nation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The car ride home is an experience that helps define a parent \/ child relationship. Here are six topics that have helped me improve myself, understand my son better and allowed him to challenge himself to be the best athlete he can be. 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