{"id":1592,"date":"2012-12-12T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-12-12T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/webinology.website\/nation2021\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach\/"},"modified":"2021-11-03T12:54:55","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T16:54:55","slug":"how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach","title":{"rendered":"How To Handle Being the Parent-Fan, Not the Parent-Coach"},"content":{"rendered":"

How To Handle Being the Parent-Fan, Not the Parent-Coach<\/strong><\/p>\n

As a former athlete, one of the toughest challenges I had involving sports happened when my children began to play.  When you play a sport, dedicate years and years to developing your skill, studying the game, and competing, you reach the point where you feel a sense of control over the outcome. Of course that outcome doesn’t always end the way you hoped and envisioned, but you generally have a good handle on the basics of the sport.<\/p>\n

A total loss of control<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n

When I quit playing, and my children began playing, I lost about 99.9% of the control I felt I had.  That was a tough adjustment.  Knowing and seeing the best play to be made at a particular moment, and witnessing something that did not look anything like that “best play”, sometimes got the best of me. Noticing a player wide open under the basket, but never receiving the ball.  Seeing a wide open running lane and the player running back the other way.  <\/p>\n

I had no control over either.<\/p>\n

Regaining some control
<\/strong><\/strong>Although I played sports, I never envisioned myself as a coach at any level.  I finally succumbed when there was a shortage of coaches (volunteers), and I was one of the parents who had the available time and was willing.  Thus, my coaching “career” began. What I quickly learned was some of that control I had lost, was now regained as I was able to teach the players some of what I knew.  Of course, dribbling or running the wrong way didn’t end, but the fact that I had prepared them, reduced the times those things happened.  <\/p>\n

My own need for control of the outcome was being pacified to a degree.  <\/p>\n

I know, I know.  I need help!<\/p>\n

Back to square one
<\/strong><\/strong>Now, some eight years later, I have relinquished some of that control by deciding to no longer coach our oldest child.  I admit, my decision is based primarily due to the fact she plays a sport I have no real experience in.  In addition, for the first time, I am not coaching our 7-year old because of a schedule conflict with his team’s practice day.  So, I find myself again, out of control. Initially I went from athlete to parent-coach.  <\/p>\n

Now I am going from parent-coach to parent-fan.  ZERO control!  I understand I have every “right” to give instructions to my child during games, but I have seen other parents do that, and it does not seem helpful.  It is distracting, and takes from the authority of the coach.  I’m guessing as an insurance policy to make sure I could not do that.  The last game, I was sick, with bronchitis, and couldn’t “bark” instructions even if I wanted to.<\/p>\n

Embracing and enjoying it all
<\/strong><\/strong>As I began to think about being on the sideline, or in the stands, I realized this is a challenge many parents face whether they are former athletes, former parent-coaches, or not.  Each parent wants their child and their child’s team to do well, to play their best, and to win.  Occasionally, even those who live by the “keep calm and carry on” motto can get caught up.  Some more caught up than others. If that is the case, how do you keep from getting caught up?  There are a few things to keep in mind, to best handle being a parent-fan, especially when coming from being a parent-coach, or former athlete.<\/p>\n

Realize you have no control anyway
<\/strong>I thought I had control when I played, as well as while coaching.  In reality, I did not, and do not.  No matter how much I coach, teach, and prepare the kids, the decisions and plays they make are completely up to them.  I can influence, but control is out of my hands.<\/p>\n

Understand it is perfectly okay to not control the outcome
<\/strong>That is one of the beauties of sports.  You never know how any given play or game will end.  Every team practices and prepares for a specific outcome, but we know every team does not get the outcome they prepared for.  That is fine, and that makes it fun.<\/p>\n

Remember the game is about the kids<\/em> playing the game
<\/strong>It amazes me how kids can play the game, by running the wrong way, shooting in the wrong basket, wrestling around well after the whistle blows and still have the time of their lives.  As well as when they get older, and wins, losses, and their performance matters more.  <\/p>\n

Once they leave the game, they are on to the next thing.  It is not about them making the best play, it is about them<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Appreciate the fact that coaching can be stressful, but being a fan should not
<\/strong>Although I will coach our son’s next season, I am enjoying just showing up to the games and watching, as a fan.  No rosters to put together, drills to set up, or game plans to develop.  It is a lot of fun!  I cheer when good plays are made, say “oh!” when other plays are made, and get ready for my “GREAT game son!” comment and high-five after the game.<\/p>\n

You are still your child’s #1 coach
<\/strong>Although, you may not be coaching this time around.  You are still the first and primary teacher and coach of your child.  Many times the “practices” and “games” with our family are some of the best.  Here you get to instruct and prepare them, and most importantly spend quality time with them doing something you all enjoy.<\/p>\n

Question:  Have you made the adjustment from athlete to parent, or parent-coach to parent-fan?  How did you handle the adjustment?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How To Handle Being the Parent-Fan, Not the Parent-Coach As a former athlete, one of the toughest challenges I had involving sports happened when my children began to play.  When you play a sport, dedicate years and years to developing your skill, studying the game, and competing, you reach the point where you feel a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":1593,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[59,45],"tags":[363,1303,230],"class_list":["post-1592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-other-sports","category-parents","tag-coach","tag-fan","tag-parent"],"yoast_head":"\nHow To Handle Being the Parent-Fan, Not the Parent-Coach - CoachUp Nation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How To Handle Being the Parent-Fan, Not the Parent-Coach - CoachUp Nation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How To Handle Being the Parent-Fan, Not the Parent-Coach As a former athlete, one of the toughest challenges I had involving sports happened when my children began to play.  When you play a sport, dedicate years and years to developing your skill, studying the game, and competing, you reach the point where you feel a […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"CoachUp Nation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/coachup\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-12-12T05:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-11-03T16:54:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/CoachUp-photo-mom-standing-on-bball-court.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"333\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Jackie Bledsoe\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@coachup\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@coachup\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Jackie Bledsoe\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Jackie Bledsoe\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/bfae3c4b50eceeca0308820a350b748f\"},\"headline\":\"How To Handle Being the Parent-Fan, Not the Parent-Coach\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-12-12T05:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-11-03T16:54:55+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach\"},\"wordCount\":1001,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2012\\\/12\\\/CoachUp-photo-mom-standing-on-bball-court.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Coach\",\"Fan\",\"Parent\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Other Sports\",\"Parents\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach\",\"name\":\"How To Handle Being the Parent-Fan, Not the Parent-Coach - 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Division 3 finalist Maynard. When SLA met up last night with the defending Division 3 champion, however, its season came to a sudden stop. Fourteen players scored as second-seeded Whitinsville Christian overwhelmed visiting SLA, 65-28, in a first-round game. Whitinsville Christian (19-2) will host Douglas in a quarterfinal at 7 p.m. tomorrow. \u201cWe knew we wanted to come out and get off to a fast start,\u201d said Whitinsville Christian coach Jeff Bajema, whose starters remained on the bench after storming to a 25-2 lead at the end of the first quarter. \u201c(SLA) was coming off a nice win over Maynard, and we went and saw that game. They hit about 14 or 15 3-pointers, so we wanted to focus on taking that away.\u201d This one was never in doubt and Whitinsville Christian asserted its dominance in a hurry, with its big stars making an impact. Sophomore point guard Colin Richey was in on Whitinsville's first nine points, scoring on a drive to the hoop and a 3-pointer before making a pair of pinpoint over-the-top passes that led to easy buckets for 6-foot-9 senior center Hans Miersma. Senior shooting guard Taylor Bajema then got into the act, tallying his eight points on a series of slashing baseline moves. \u201cWe have players that do so many different things and bring different skills,\u201d said Miersma, who had 10 points, including a pair of buckets off offensive rebounds. \u201cWe're tough to guard, and we wanted to come out and set the tone on defense, and we did a great job of that in the first quarter.\u201d Whitinsville Christian pushed its lead to 33-2 early in the second quarter as reserves Jesse Dykstra and Justin Tienharra keyed the offense. \u201cWe talked a lot about (the University of) Kansas and what happened to them in last year's (NCAA) tournament,\u201d Bajema said. \u201cThis is tournament time, and the teams we'll play all earned the right to be here, so we need to be ready each night.\u201d Tomorrow's game will be the last at Whitinsville Christian's unique and tiny gym for the seniors, a fact not lost on Miersma. \u201cI really want to come and play well in our last game here,\u201d said Miersma, who will play for Gordon College next year. \u201cThis is such a great place, with the fans going crazy and the band playing. I know I'll really miss being here.\u201d Ed Kuhna scored 10 points to lead South Lancaster.\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How To Handle Being the Parent-Fan, Not the Parent-Coach\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/\",\"name\":\"CoachUp Nation\",\"description\":\"Private and Group Coaching Lessons and Local Sports Training Courses\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"CoachUp\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2021\\\/10\\\/CoachUpNation_4-1024x536-1.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2021\\\/10\\\/CoachUpNation_4-1024x536-1.png\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":536,\"caption\":\"CoachUp\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.facebook.com\\\/coachup\",\"https:\\\/\\\/x.com\\\/coachup\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/bfae3c4b50eceeca0308820a350b748f\",\"name\":\"Jackie Bledsoe\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/21a8221eed8388c22312d29beb8f79be7d8485dbef29fcf184642233a71401bd?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/21a8221eed8388c22312d29beb8f79be7d8485dbef29fcf184642233a71401bd?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/21a8221eed8388c22312d29beb8f79be7d8485dbef29fcf184642233a71401bd?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Jackie Bledsoe\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.coachup.com\\\/nation\\\/articles\\\/author\\\/jackiebledsoe\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How To Handle Being the Parent-Fan, Not the Parent-Coach - 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Division 3 finalist Maynard. When SLA met up last night with the defending Division 3 champion, however, its season came to a sudden stop. Fourteen players scored as second-seeded Whitinsville Christian overwhelmed visiting SLA, 65-28, in a first-round game. Whitinsville Christian (19-2) will host Douglas in a quarterfinal at 7 p.m. tomorrow. \u201cWe knew we wanted to come out and get off to a fast start,\u201d said Whitinsville Christian coach Jeff Bajema, whose starters remained on the bench after storming to a 25-2 lead at the end of the first quarter. \u201c(SLA) was coming off a nice win over Maynard, and we went and saw that game. They hit about 14 or 15 3-pointers, so we wanted to focus on taking that away.\u201d This one was never in doubt and Whitinsville Christian asserted its dominance in a hurry, with its big stars making an impact. Sophomore point guard Colin Richey was in on Whitinsville's first nine points, scoring on a drive to the hoop and a 3-pointer before making a pair of pinpoint over-the-top passes that led to easy buckets for 6-foot-9 senior center Hans Miersma. Senior shooting guard Taylor Bajema then got into the act, tallying his eight points on a series of slashing baseline moves. \u201cWe have players that do so many different things and bring different skills,\u201d said Miersma, who had 10 points, including a pair of buckets off offensive rebounds. \u201cWe're tough to guard, and we wanted to come out and set the tone on defense, and we did a great job of that in the first quarter.\u201d Whitinsville Christian pushed its lead to 33-2 early in the second quarter as reserves Jesse Dykstra and Justin Tienharra keyed the offense. \u201cWe talked a lot about (the University of) Kansas and what happened to them in last year's (NCAA) tournament,\u201d Bajema said. \u201cThis is tournament time, and the teams we'll play all earned the right to be here, so we need to be ready each night.\u201d Tomorrow's game will be the last at Whitinsville Christian's unique and tiny gym for the seniors, a fact not lost on Miersma. \u201cI really want to come and play well in our last game here,\u201d said Miersma, who will play for Gordon College next year. \u201cThis is such a great place, with the fans going crazy and the band playing. I know I'll really miss being here.\u201d Ed Kuhna scored 10 points to lead South Lancaster."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/how-to-handle-being-the-parent-fan-not-the-parent-coach#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How To Handle Being the Parent-Fan, Not the Parent-Coach"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/","name":"CoachUp Nation","description":"Private and Group Coaching Lessons and Local Sports Training Courses","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/#organization","name":"CoachUp","url":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/CoachUpNation_4-1024x536-1.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/CoachUpNation_4-1024x536-1.png","width":1024,"height":536,"caption":"CoachUp"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/coachup","https:\/\/x.com\/coachup"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/#\/schema\/person\/bfae3c4b50eceeca0308820a350b748f","name":"Jackie Bledsoe","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/21a8221eed8388c22312d29beb8f79be7d8485dbef29fcf184642233a71401bd?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/21a8221eed8388c22312d29beb8f79be7d8485dbef29fcf184642233a71401bd?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/21a8221eed8388c22312d29beb8f79be7d8485dbef29fcf184642233a71401bd?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Jackie Bledsoe"},"url":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/author\/jackiebledsoe"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1592"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1592\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1593"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}