{"id":1025,"date":"2024-01-30T06:35:00","date_gmt":"2024-01-30T11:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/webinology.website\/nation2021\/how-you-can-teach-your-child-to-fight-his-own-battles\/"},"modified":"2024-01-29T20:37:03","modified_gmt":"2024-01-30T01:37:03","slug":"teaching-athlete-fight-their-own-battles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coachup.com\/nation\/articles\/teaching-athlete-fight-their-own-battles","title":{"rendered":"Teaching your Athlete to Fight their Own Battles"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
One of the hardest parts of parenting is overcoming the urge to fight your child’s battles for them. As our children grow, we must let them learn to stand up for themselves and face their battles head-on. If you hang around a gym or field for long enough, you will see evidence of this parental struggle. Whether it\u2019s a fight for playing time or a conflict with a coach, parents step into their athlete’s battles, not realizing that their actions are causing more harm than good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On many occasions it\u2019s taken all my self-control to not step in and stand up for my child at a game. To be honest, I’ve been guilty of succumbing to that urge more than once. Every time I did step in, however, I quickly realized wasn’t doing my athlete any favors. No matter the situation, you’re not actually saving the day when you step in to do so. In fact, the opposite is often true. As our kids grow up, we hinder them from growing in their independence when we do not teach them to stand up for themselves and fight their own battles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are three ways to aide your athlete in learning to fight their own battles. <\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Listen<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
This is where the lesson begins. When your kids are ready to tell you about their struggles, listen more than you speak. When my kids get in the car after practice the last thing they want is to answer a bunch of questions about how it went. One simple question, such as, \u201chow was your day\u201d is plenty enough until they are ready to talk. Once they begin sharing, let them express their feelings to you without casting any judgment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once you fully understand how your child is feeling, you can help them decide the best way to handle their situation and fight the battle they are facing. Forcing your opinion before you fully grasp the situation will rarely result in actual help to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2. Teach them how to appropriately confront their battles <\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Discuss with them how they can approach their coach with a problem. My husband coached for 28 years and he explains that there are good and bad ways to confront a coach. The worst way is an approach like this: \u201cHow come I\u2019m not playing more? I\u2019m better than Joe or Susie!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Encourage your child not to pester their coach with their frustrations. Coaches do not like to be nagged. Instead, suggest they say, \u201cwhat can I do to get more playing time?\u201d or <\/em>\u201cwhat do you think I need to get better at?\u201d In this way, the athlete is taking the responsibility upon themself to improve. They do not come across as a complainer or accuser, rather, they appear to their coach as an athlete willing to earn their opportunities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3. Prepare them for a long fight<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Some battles cannot be won overnight. Sometimes they can even last for full seasons. When our kids were discouraged about their playing time or their performance, we told them to keep fighting and continue working hard. I\u2019d like to say that their persistence was always rewarded, but unfortunately not all games and seasons have happy endings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve seen my daughter win the battle for starting libero by mid-season and I\u2019ve seen my son struggle until the very last game with a basketball coach he could never seem to please. In both cases, our kids fought their own battle every step of the way, with my husband and I cheering from the sidelines.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Since our children were small, we\u2019ve taught them how to fight their own battles. And now we are reaping the rewards as we see our two college athletes\u2014one a senior football player and one a sophomore volleyball player\u2014continue to stand strong in conflict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let your athlete take on their own problems, and fight their own battles. Long after the balls and bats and hoops start to gather dust in the garage, the life lessons your athletes learned as they fought those battles on the court and field will prepare them just a little bit more for the battles of life that lay ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
![\"father](\"https:\/\/coachup.webinology.io:8443\/nation\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/young-tennis-player-1024x540.jpeg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n